Sunday, July 1, 2007

Gone and Evidently Forgotten

Joy and I have been gone this weekend.

As in away from our house.

As in away from our house without Sam!

This is the first time we've gone away for an extended period of time without the Munchkin. We'd done a night away in town before, but never two nights out of town. It felt so decadent yesterday, sleeping late, eating a lazy breakfast, hiking for two hours, going to a movie, reading in bed, playing games. You know, the stuff we used to do B.S. (that's before Sam...get your mind out of the gutter) It has been a relaxing weekend and a chance to reconnect and wonderful.

But yesterday afternoon, we got to missing Sam. So Joy called her mom, who's been having a weekend slumber party with Sam, to see how he was holding up.

He didn't even miss us; hadn't asked for us once.

Usually when we leave Sam with a babysitter, he'll stop everyone once and a while and ask where we are. But he's having so much fun with his Nana that he doesn't have time to miss us.

I'm sure that's an overstatement, that he has missed us and will be glad when we return this afternoon. We are certainly relieved that he has done so well with us away. But there is a small part of us that is sad he didn't at least whimper a bit over our absence. We don't demand histrionics, but a small tear would be nice.

That's the way it goes being a parent - Sam came with a lifetime supply of guilt. We felt guilty over leaving him and now we feel guilty that he hasn't missed us, like we haven't bonded properly. Do these feelings negate our time away? Not at all. We enjoyed our time away and are eager to see Sam again. We can have it both ways. It just helps to treat ourselves the way we treat Sam - acknowledge our feelings, but not let them control us.

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